The Work-Life "Balance" Falacy

Is Work-Life Balance a Reality?

We have all heard the saying, “Change is the only constant” or “Change is the new normal”. I get that. I feel that. I have lived that and am living that now. 

In my 28 years as a PT, I could have sworn that nothing seemed to change in my career's first 15-20 years. In the last 5-8 years, it seems that change is not only occurring more often, but the rate of change is also increasing. Thanks, Covid. I have recently undergone some major life changes as well – selling my business and stepping away from the world that I knew so well. Taking on a new business and career as a coach and living in the neutral zone of transition. I would venture to guess that most of us feel change every day. True? Do you feel the same way?

If change is truly happening at a faster rate, then I want to challenge a phrase that many people, especially new grads, are seeking and declaring that their job should deliver – Work-Life Balance. Even experienced PTs are leaving jobs seeking work-life balance. Are they all chasing a unicorn? When I hear “balance”, I think of a static or still place, one where the right and left sides of the scale are equal in distribution, in this case, work and life are in equal proportions and things are stable. Change is instability. Balance is static. Is Work-Life “Balance” possible?

As a business owner or manager of others, know and understand what problem you are dealing with so you can address it properly. Is the problem clearly defined, or is it vague and unrealistic – Balance. In coaching, when we work with someone who is dealing with a circumstance and not a problem, that is called a Gravity problem. You can’t fix gravity, much like you couldn’t fix Covid. You can fix how you interact with gravity or Covid, but you can’t change the circumstance surrounding it. 

Just like when someone comes to you and says, “Everyone is upset” or “Life is crazy right now”, broad, vague words like “everyone”, “life” or even “no one” puts us up against what I call the “invisible army” – one we can’t fight until we define who or what it is. A great response to a statement that involves the invisible is “Who is everyone?” or “What do you mean by Life”. Get them to be specific so you know who or what you are dealing with.

In this crazy world where change is often rapid and expected, I would like to offer some alternatives to the phrase Work-Life Balance. What if we reframe Balance to Integration, or Coherence, or Synthesis? Let’s look at those words individually:

Integration – behavior, as of an individual, that is in harmony with the environment.

Coherent – having a natural or due agreement of parts, harmonious.

Synthesis – a complex whole formed by combining elements of separate entities into a unified presence.

Imagine that you had a giant mixing board, like the ones you see in a recording studio or concert. Each one of those knobs is a part of your life – Work, Love, Health, Fun, Relationships, etc. To make a song or concert what it is that is ready for the world involves sliding those knobs up or down at different points of the song to create and blend the musical components into the finished product – a top hit. 

What if your life or your team’s lives were like that, where you/they could control the mixing board by adding more of one in a moment and slide back on another to create a beautiful, harmonious life? Wouldn’t that give you a feeling of more control? 

The secret to starting to achieve harmony is as follows:

1.    Know the instruments playing in the band – what factors are active in your life now and how loud do you want them to be and how loud are they now? Don’t like the sound or contribution to the song, change the mix. Something out of harmony in life, change one piece at a time and see how the harmony changes. Tony Robbins said, “change your thinking, change your life”.

2.    Have an idea of what the finished product should sound like – If you don’t know what you want your life to be like, it is hard to produce results. Many musicians that I have spoken with often hear the song in their head and then bring it to paper and the sound and then bring in elements that will make it better.  If you don’t know where your life is going, it will be hard to get to a better place unless you stumble upon it.

3.    Have an open, creative mind – remember in the fantastic movie, “Bohemian Rhapsody” when Freddie Mercury kept saying “higher” to each take when in the studio? He had an idea of what the song should sound like, but when he heard it, he wanted something more. When it comes to your life, allow some flexibility in your plan, and allow for more, to ask for more, to expect more.

Start with yourself. Take an inventory of your life where it is now. Are you where you want to be, truly where YOU want it to be, not somebody else? If not, change it. If yes, fantastic, well done!! If you find you need some help, find someone to help you. There is no time like the present!

Then, after you have made changes in your life, take it to your team. It is difficult to help someone when you don’t know how to do it for yourself. If you need help, find a coach who has experience helping others. The change can be profound for you and your business.The body content of your post goes here. To edit this text, click on it and delete this default text and start typing your own or paste your own from a different source.